Reviews, thoughts and frozen silence

I had a wonderful discussion with one my oldest and dearest friends yesterday. We agreed that as we have gotten older we have begun to look at the past and the future in quite a different way than in our youth. Through experience and conflicts, changes and challenges, we have realized that there isn’t a stable, definitive state or statuelike concept of "me" that could be mapped and then set in stone forever. Rather we continuously define ourselves over and over again, and through interaction and shared experiences we realize that who we were is not something we are now, and will be tomorrow.

There are some things you can’t shortcut in life. Only after experiencing something firsthand can you realize that the things you thought were important probably aren’t, and other things take their place. But if somebody tried to told you it before the experiences, you’d laugh or shake your head. There are things that cannot be learned from the books, they have to be learned with gut and sometimes pain. Some of these things are not reversible. After you have realized something you feel is important, it is almost impossible to forget it and go back to where you were before the change. You look back and think "that was who I was, but not anymore".

I think this is one of the most important things when it comes to life. We continuously redefine ourselves from cradle to grave.

One of my tunes got integrated into this wonderful presentation by finnish company Dicole describing how internet and clouds are changing the way companies and social interaction work:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Naf0jxDd-R0 

My last three months have revolved around a certain musical instrument. Strangely enough I decided to join a melodic metal group as the rhythm guitar player and since then my life has involved quite a bit of technical exercises and honing my left and right hand skills. I have to say it has been so refreshing, energizing and just pure fun, that I almost found myself again. It has been so long I have had this constant inspiration to just pick up guitar, play and go on youtube just looking for next tune/riff/pattern to get hold of and learn.

At first I thought "I’m probably too old for this shit", but I’ve managed to prove myself wrong. It seems that as I’ve gotten older I’ve probably lost some physical prowess and general energy of the youth, but in comparison learned a lot about how to study, practice and teach myself new skills. The efficiency has definitely gotten better. Less hours are required for solid progress, which makes things really enjoyable.

But all this has required me to make quite big decisions, one of which includes me taking a break from teaching. I decided to leave school behind me for the time being and invest time into programming, music and mental health, instead of trying to tackle two jobs and time consuming hobby at the same time at the expense of time and sanity. Weird feeling, this sense of freedom and uncertainity.

Onwards ho, towards life and all that is out there!

I’ve realized that while people can do horrible things to each other, I truly wonder if one could ever say that the person committing the act is actually evil or malevolent. There are always reasons and experiences in the life of the actor in question that can offer some insight and understanding to his actions and decisions.

Of course, this doesn’t mean that the actions and decisions would be acceptable. But I think it is important to try to understand people, whatever they end up doing or saying. When you manage to at least in some way understand why anyone would end up doing something, it gives you possibility to let go of your own anxiousness and lockdown, even if the acts themselves would be impossible to accept or be forgiven.

In general, I think life is mostly about learning to understand and accept your own feelings, thoughts and values. One could say that life seems to be all about learning to understand and eventually accept yourself. When you manage to understand others you usually learn to understand yourself better.

In my books, mental stability requires understanding. Usually problems arise from the fact that you are at a loss and don’t know from where are you coming and where would you like to go. And from understanding eventually arises possible acceptance, or at least possibility to change the situation if it isn’t acceptable.

Understanding and acceptance. Simple but powerful things.

I have been listening to trip-hop quite a bit lately, mainly excellent japanese producer Seba Jun aka Nujabes. After a while I decided to take a dive into the unknown and produced a four tune virtual EP Dharma Armada - Creative Commons as always!

Dharma Armada @ Jamendo.com

Hope you enjoy it!

Summer has begun and I’m enjoying my first true vacation as a teacher. Two and a half months of pure relaxation and bliss with salary. Have to say I’m pretty content And with happiness and relaxation comes inspiration! Two new Project Divinity releases for you my friends of ambient! Triosphere and Beyond. Hope you enjoy them!

Jamendo is a wonderful french hosting hub that offers home musicians to publish their music via Creative Commons licence. Publications are served via bittorrent. They have continued to develop the site and services, and now artists are able to publish their own blogs. I decided to join the flock and now Celestial Aeon Project, Frozen Silence and Project Divinity have their own project blogs.

I’ve watched a couple of episodes of Mad men and I have to say I’m sort of hooked. The series has nice rhythm, well written characters and interesting concept. As an added bonus, most of the female actors are incredibly beautiful, something a silly chap like myself can not overvalue! Not sure yet if the magic will hold or not, but so far so good. If you are looking for semi serious drama with nostalgia and sense of intrigue, you could go for Mad Men

Shinjuku Thief is one of those projects that go under your skin. Dark and brooding horror ambient with very soundtrack-like feeling. First time I heard Shinjuku Thief was during one of our role-playing game sessions. It was one-shot horror scenario and The Witch Hammer was used as the sole soundtrack for the game. And it literally brought the imaginary horrors to the room surfing on the soundwaves. I’ve never been so scared in my life. The associations were so intense that even now when I’m listening to the album, I get shivers down my spine. It is definitely not an easy album and the intense soundscapes won’t yield exactly enjoyable experience, but I still wholeheartedly suggest to try it out.

Project Divinity’s album Divinity got it’s first official review from finnish noise.fi webmagazine. It is sadly written in finnish, but you can find it here in any case.

As a summary I’m very happy for it, the writer understood the project and it’s main influences correctly, analyzed it honestly and wrote the article with sense of detail and warmth.

The album can be gotten either from Jamendo.com or as a physical version from levyvirasto.net.